This lesson is from the silent, invisible part of the Hurricane- not the Eric Reinert part but the Holly Reinert part. Holly has given me full permission to share her story- but up until I had permission, it was hidden from the public eye. As it should be.
All the while I was in Hawaii (and before I got there and after, too) Holly was suffering from major depression. She was trying to deal with it on her own. Then trying some medication. Then trying no medication. Then convincing herself it was not real. All in a small, isolated, dark corner of the world. She left for a job in Nebraska in August- without saying good-bye. In the days before I flew out to be with Eric in Hawaii, I was honestly more concerned with Holly's well-being than Eric's.
With Eric's ordeal, I cried out to the entire world through emails, Facebook, and Caring Bridge. I had a voice and I used it to ask for prayers and to release the pain and stress of the situation. With Holly, I had no such platform. While the world prayed for Eric's recovery, specific prayer by specific prayer, only a handful of people even knew of Holly's illness and the need for the same level of prayer. How could I ask the world to pray for Holly- she was not even speaking to me!
But people prayed. And it made all the difference. I want to tell you this in case you think that you have to have a huge army of prayer warriors in order to get the King to pay attention. Not the case. Although I know that a large army of pray-ers stormed the gates of Heaven on Eric's behalf, I also know that the earnest prayers of a handful of faithful carried the same weight in God's eyes for Holly.
I tell you this to encourage you. You do not have to share your story across the airwaves and cyberspace to find your answers. Maybe yours is a personal, silent, almost invisible storm- raging inside, rather than outside. Maybe there is no desire, like Holly, to broadcast your needs to every man and their uncle. Maybe you want to, but you simply can't. I am not so sure Holly did not want the same outcry for her pain relief as Eric. It was just different.
My way of handling Eric's ordeal was not better or worse than the way I handled Holly's - it was simply different. God honors our faithfulness, and our authenticity-- getting real with God might mean shouting from the rooftop. It might also mean closing the prayer closet and seeking an appointment with the King behind locked doors.
The point is this: whatever pain you are in (well known, highly-visible, and public or quiet, silent, almost invisible to the outside world) the answer is GET TO GOD! Get real. Ask the tough questions, seek His reply, wait until you have a satisfying answer-- otherwise keep asking!
For both Eric and Holly- God intervened in a mighty powerful way! His timing was perfect and though He seemed long in His answers...with some still coming, He has always been right on time.
One of the sweetest things I heard from a friend after Hawaii went like this: She came up to me and said, "Sorry I did not post on Caring Bridge or email you but I have been praying...but to be honest, most of my prayers were for Holly" Music to my ears! It was those quiet, hidden, yet super-powerful prayers that made all the difference.
There were two instances during the worst of it for Holly that she considered overdosing. Both times she heard God speak to her, telling her "no, I have a purpose for your life". I know that I know that I know it was because of those quiet, unassuming, faithful, invisible saints out there praying for her that stopped something bad from getting worse. Holly knows it too.
If you wonder how prayer works- I do not have an answer. If you wonder IF prayer works, I will tell you I know that it does; it always does. And sometimes our most powerful prayer comes in the form of breathing....
Honest sighing is faith breathing and whispering in the ear;
the life is not out of faith, where there is sighing, looking up with the eyes,
and breathing toward God.
- Samuel Rutherford (1600-1661)
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